What Do You Want?

Happy Beautiful Thursday everyone!

I am currently sitting outside in the back yard. This is an uncommon joy for me since I usually teach during the daytime. Lucky for me my junior high-ers are busy testing today, so I have a few hours to myself. Double points for today because it is a gorgeous 61 degrees out. 

This bit of time is a nice relief. This semester has been a busy one for me. I've acquired new students (RHS! Woo!), had a couple of musical gigs (South Pacific at Lake Highlands and a two-week Les Miserables run), accompanied several students for Solo and Ensemble, and recorded as much as I could for music festival auditions. Oh! Can't forget joining Legacy Brass! During the last month I was leaving to teach from 8-2ish (sometimes to 4pm) and then heading out for Les Mis or other rehearsals. I didn't walk through my door again until 10pm on some nights. 

I won't lie: this life style is wearing. I love teaching, and I love playing. But 14 hours days can be a lot, especially when you have many in a row. That's why these past 10 days or so have been a nice breather for me. There's one topic of discussion in my lessons right now, since All Region/Solo and Ensemble are done: I ask my kids, "What do you want for next year?"

This started as a practical question on my part. I needed to know what the kids expected, desired, and aspired for their next year in band. I see it as part of my job to help them get to where they want to go - wherever that may be. I needed to know so that I would have a good idea of how to proceed forward in my teaching (I'm still a newbie at this). 

After two days of asking kids this question, I noticed I mostly got two types of answers.

The first answer was purposeful, unquestionably confident, and full of delight. I think some of my kids were actually delighted to be asked what they wanted, as if they already had ambitions and goals to meet for their next year in band. They were ready to share what had been decided within. With excitement, the student and I would plan out objectives for the 2013-2014 school year. (I'm excited because this feeds my band-nerd-iness.)

The second kind of answer was a shrug. 

What! A shrug? I can't plan my curriculum and methods on a shrug. I pressed on further.

"What do you want? We can do anything. Do you want to go up a band? Make All Region? Get a 1 at Solo and Ensemble?"

More shrugs. Maybe an "I dunno. I guess. Yeah."

Nothing! There was nothing in these answers. No spark, and certainly no ambition. No personality. And maybe the saddest one of all: no desire. Nothing. My questions dropped with a thud. Like a miss-sacked hackey sack.  

I found myself trying to assure them that they could have whatever they wanted. Obviously it means they'd have to work for it. My point, though, was that they had someone on their side that was committed to helping them get where they wanted to go - a pretty valuable someone at that. (I posses the secrets to horn playing... muahahahaaaaaa.)

This is a little discouraging, but not totally - if a kid doesn't want to do anything we'll just play scales and rhythms all day long. However it did get me thinking about myself and my life.

But there must be a reason why the kids shrugged when I asked them what they want. It can be a tough question to answer! Here's why:

1. They don't know what they want. 
2. They are afraid to admit what they want. 
3. They don't believe they can have what they want.
4. There is no point. To any of this. (i.e. - they do not care)

There's probably more, but I'll leave it with these four.

I wondered if I've asked myself the same question recently. "What do I want?" I realized last week that this is a question not just for horn students grades 7-12. Everybody on the planet needs to ask or be asked this question. The question needs to be asked because there not many other ways to get what you want unless you know what it is you want. I thought on this some more. If I need to ask the same question I'm asking my kids, then which of the two responses will I have? It is a choice, and I can choose how to respond to such a question. (for the record, I choose the first kind of answer)

It comes down to this: we all have desires. It doesn't matter the size or ambition of the desire, but we all want stuff. I believe the best thing is to express -  to oneself and to others - what one wants. Stuff doesn't get done when it sits quietly and untouched inside of people. It has to get out, so get it out! Tell people. Tell yourself! Write it down and stick it on your wall. Then you get to be told of your desires every time you look at it!

1. Don't know what you want? Then spend some time thinking about it. Spend some time with your family and friends. You'll see them doing what they want, and it may inspire you to find what you want. 
2. Are you afraid to admit what you want? Grab a confidant. Grab your closest friend or a bosom body. You may need someone you can open up to in order to get those juices flowing. You may need another person to walk you through what you want. 
3. You need to believe you can have what you want. Despair and self-pity is a mucky bog. I've spent a lot of time trying to convince some friends of mine that they could have spectacular lives, but I don't think they ever listened. Some people find it easier to sink low than to soar high. I don't think very much happiness is found in those low places. 
4. There's no point? Wrong! There is a point! As long as you are alive, there will always be a point. Try really hard to not end up as a 77 year old person that looks back and sees a life with no point. 

I wrote this earlier, but this is true for all: I said to the unsure kids "What do you want? We can do anything." Whether or not you're able to see it, there are folks all around you very willing to help you get where you want to go. That is a great resource for your life. 

Accept help when it comes your way, and look for help when it seems you have none. 

You can always have help. You can have what you want.

If you do all this, then stuff will start to happen in your life. Then stuff will get done. 

To put my money where my mouth is, I'll leave you with a few of pictures of what I want. :)

Currently trying to figure out if I 'want' short hair.

Big want: a husband and kids.
If we end up on a farm and the dude
is like a young Paul McCartney...
well then ok. :)